Arctic Reflections

October

I've been living alone in my Grandpa's cabin for over a month now. The days are getting shorter, and the nights are growing longer. Yesterday, I checked my satellite phone and found three messages from my mom, asking how I was doing. I replied with a simple, "I'm fine, don't worry." From the beginning, she tried to discourage me from going on this arctic journey to Svalbard. She believed that as a young woman used to city life, that remote place would be a nightmare. She didn't want anything that reminded her of my dad. But her discouragement only fueled my determination. My Norwegian and Italian sides finally agreed on something. The Norwegian part wanted me to visit my father's ancestral land, while the Italian part wanted to prove to everyone, especially my cheating ex-fiancé Milo and my betraying supposed best friend Shira, that I could live alone on my own terms, even in a desolate place without another soul in sight for miles. I must admit, my late Grandpa had good taste. The cabin is marvelous. It's warm and cozy, with large glass walls overlooking the fjord and the icy mountains. When I arrived in August, I had supplies delivered by boat, enough to last me through the winter. So, I'm completely self-sufficient. The silence was overwhelming at first, but I'm slowly getting used to it. As I write in my journal, I can hear my true voice in my head, reading every word I write. After spending so many years trying to please others, I'm finally reconnecting with myself and finding inner peace. November It's pitch dark all day now. I've limited my walks to a short distance from the cabin for safety. Polar bears sometimes wander near houses, although they should be hibernating at this time. I don't want to take any risks, and I'm afraid of getting lost if I venture too far. I've never had a good sense of direction and have always relied on others to lead the way. I hate to admit it, but I'm starting to feel lonely. I wouldn't dare say it out loud, but in this diary, I can express my inner thoughts without fear. For a while, I tried keeping the satellite TV on for hours just to hear other people's voices. But I quickly grew tired of the shallow conversations and fake smiles. The TV seemed to mock me from behind the screen. I turned it off, and it hasn't been switched on since. I feel like I'm living on a different planet, in a deserted galaxy far away. There's no gossip or small talk here. In my newfound freedom, I've decided to experiment with two personalities. When I'm in a good mood, I'll be the original Ada, a cheerful and friendly young woman who loves reading but can be naive. When I feel angry, betrayed, and harmed, I become Visna, a fierce warrior inspired by Norse sagas. A few days ago, I received a message from Milo on the satellite phone. It pierced my already wounded heart. He apologized and begged for another chance. He even sent a picture of himself, trying to look innocent. First, he cheated on me with Shira, who was supposed to be my maid of honor. And now, he wants to make amends by coming to spend time with me. His message filled me with rage. It's a feeling I'm getting used to. It's as if I'm not myself anymore. Ada, the kind and loving version, retreats to the corner of the living room to cry over what could have been. Visna takes over, turning off the phone and telling that good-for-nothing to go away. She opens the sliding door to the freezing terrace, the wind cutting her face. She gazes at the night sky, her crown of stars. This land is her kingdom, and she is its queen. She sits on the deck, energized by the cold, and watches the ethereal display above. Ada and her problems are forgotten. December The polar night is long and deep. Dreams and nightmares blend with reality. Ada struggles with the dark loneliness but finds solace in Visna, who supports her. They watch the aurora together. Ada sees it as a beautiful work of art, while Visna sees it as a symbol of courage in a dark world. I'm glad Ada and Visna have found harmony. They are different but know they complement each other. Milo hasn't given up and keeps messaging Ada. Her heart softens, and she forgives him and Shira. Visna isn't angry at Ada's kindness; in fact, she encourages her to invite them to experience the beauty of the polar night. They agree to come before New Year's Eve. Ada and Visna look forward to their arrival. Ada and Visna are two sides of the same coin. January The Polar Night is ending. Visna anticipates the blue and pink horizons of daybreak. She feelsa surge of energy and determination as the sun prepares to return. Ada, on the other hand, is filled with a mix of excitement and nervousness. Milo and Shira are due to arrive today, and she wonders if inviting them was the right decision. As the first rays of sunlight peek over the horizon, Ada and Visna stand together on the terrace, waiting for Milo and Shira's boat to appear. Their emotions are intertwined, and each feels a mixture of hope and trepidation. Finally, the boat emerges from behind a distant ice floe. Ada's heart skips a beat as she sees Milo and Shira waving from the deck. They step onto the frozen shore, bundled up in thick winter gear. Ada approaches them with a smile, while Visna stands tall, her eyes cold and piercing. The reunion is awkward at first. Ada tries to maintain a cheerful atmosphere, but there is an underlying tension. As they settle into the cabin, Ada and Visna observe Milo and Shira closely, searching for signs of remorse or change. Over the next few days, Ada and Visna engage in conversations with Milo and Shira. They share stories, memories, and even have arguments. Ada's forgiving nature allows her to listen and try to understand, while Visna's strength protects her from being hurt again. As the days pass, Ada begins to see glimpses of genuine remorse in Milo and Shira's eyes. They express regret for their actions and acknowledge the pain they caused. Ada's heart softens, and she contemplates the possibility of rebuilding their relationships. Visna, however, remains vigilant. She reminds Ada of the pain and betrayal they experienced, urging caution and self-preservation. Ada listens to Visna's words, realizing that forgiveness doesn't mean forgetting or blindly trusting again. Together, Ada and Visna find a balance. They decide to give Milo and Shira a chance to prove themselves, but with clear boundaries and expectations. Ada knows that healing will take time and effort from all parties involved. As the sun rises higher each day, casting its light on the frozen landscape, Ada, Visna, Milo, and Shira embark on a journey of reconciliation and rediscovery. The beauty of Svalbard becomes a backdrop for their shared experiences and the opportunity to grow individually and as a group. The diary entries end here, leaving the story open to the possibilities of what lies ahead for Ada, Visna, Milo, and Shira. In this remote corner of the world, amidst the harsh Arctic environment, a tale of forgiveness, redemption, and self-discovery unfolds, guided by the interplay of two personalities and the resilience of the human spirit.